Mindfuck
by Panther X
Summary: Sephiroth bestows Kadaj with a gift for keeping his memory alive. But is it a blessing or a curse? Only time will tell. Psycological SephxKadaj
1. The Gift

**Disclaimer: If I owned Advent Children I wouldn't be writing Fanfiction now would I?**

**This story is based 100 on a dream I had a while back. Enjoy.  
- Panther**

* * *

It had been another trying day. The search for Mother still remained fruitless, no one slipping a single clue as to her whereabouts. Lying back on their pillows, the Sephiroth Remnants fell into deep, untroubled slumbers. All but one.

When Kadaj dreamed, it was usually about Mother or the death of Cloud Strife. Never had he dreamt so vividly, as if he were gazing through his own eyes. All he could see, all there was to see really, was a dark figure approaching him at a leisurely pace. Soon, the figure came out of the shadows. Judging from his appearance, he could have been the Remnant's father. He had the same silver hair, longer than Yazoo's, and cold, cat-like ash grey eyes. Yet where the Remnants had soft young features, his face was tempered with age and experience.  
"Do you not recognize me, my dear Remnant?" the man asked, stepping ever closer. Kadaj shook his head. Even though familiar in so many ways, he had never seen this man before in his life. "Still, I'm sure you know my name." The man smiled, though coldly. "I am Sephiroth."  
_Sephiroth? THE Sephiroth? Speaking to ME?_ Kadaj thought, feeling quite bewildered. He shook his head to clear it. _No. This is simply a dream. Only the manifestation of my desire to speak to him.  
_"My dear Kadaj, I am only too real." Sephiroth smiled. "I wanted to thank you for keeping my spirit alive in the world and continuing my legacy. When everyone else would try to forget I ever existed, you are a constant reminder." Kadaj was stunned.  
"Well… thank you," he scrambled for the right words, "I only did what I thought was right. Joining Mother is one of the most important things in the world to me." Sephiroth reached out and placed a gloved hand on his shoulder.  
"I have seen how hard you have been working and I would like to make it worth your while. Tomorrow night, I will come again. But let's just keep this as our little secret" At this, he vaporized and Kadaj fell into a deep, dreamless sleep."

The next day was exactly like the last. Collect children with the geostigma; search for Mother and still not find her. The passing of time had become so monotonous that anything new would have been a welcome change.

Kadaj lay on his back awake, waiting for sleep. Jealousy rose in him as he heard his brothers snoring in the rooms over. Running through all the more interesting things in his mind, he came to ponder on his dream about Sephiroth the night before. Suddenly, he heard a gentle whisper in his ear.  
"I will make it worth your while…" the icy voice cooed.  
_Sephiroth! What does he mean, "make it worth my while"? Will he tell me where Mother is? _Kadaj thought, excitement beginning to bubble inside him. He waited with baited breath, but there was nothing else to hear save for the sounds of his brother's sleep.  
Disappointed, he became vaguely aware of a small tingling sensation in his skin. It became stronger, stretching all the way out to the tips of his appendages. Soon, it also felt as if all parts of his body were being forced away from his core. Kadaj fought the urge to cry out. As well as apart, he was being pulled upwards. The pain had become almost excruciating. Trying to sit up, he stretched out his legs. This only made the pain worse, paralyzing his body. Through the agony, he remembered hearing once that pain would lessen if you didn't try to fight it but flowed with it like a wave. Anything would be better than this. Kadaj allowed himself to relax, embracing the pain. A small moan escaped his lips. As soon as he stopped rebelling and gave up his urge to move, the agony lessened to be replaced with a phenomenal pleasure. It ran through his limp form, causing him to shiver. He was still in pain, but the combination of the opposite sensations was exciting and extremely pleasing.  
"My dear Kadaj. This is my gift to you for remembering me." Sephiroth whispered in the Remnant's ear. Hearing the voice, Kadaj felt another vigorous wave of pleasure sweep over him. This was living. He wished this could go on forever. Yet the sensation gradually died away, allowing his physical and mental fatigue to pull Kadaj into a deep sleep.


	2. The Battle

**Thanks to BloodyChaosDragonKnight for Beta reading the story. Kudos to you! :)**

Every night since then, Sephiroth would bestow him with a similar "gift". Soon Kadaj even began to experiment. For example, he discovered that the less he reacted to the feeling, the stronger and more forceful it became. As time passed, Sephiroth would often speak to him in kind words laced with an icy tone, making the experience all the better. Keeping his promise, Kadaj never told Yazoo or Loz about what was going on. All they had were assumptions made about the occasional moaning or quick, laboured breathing from across the hall.  
It had become almost addictive, his nights with Sephiroth. Kadaj had developed a need for it to be that magical time again and receive his nightly high. During the day he became jaded and irritable, disinterested with his surroundings. His brothers even came to believe that, horror of horrors; he did not even care about finding Mother anymore.

One day something happened that the old Kadaj would have fully enjoyed. As the three Remnants were making their way to Edge on a routine collecting run, who did they run into but Cloud Strife. Yazoo and Loz felt anticipation rise within them for the inevitable confrontation. Kadaj on the other hand was daydreaming about what he could try that night to make the "gifts" even more enjoyable.  
"Kadaj!" Yazoo snapped. "Get your head back on your shoulders. Look." Grabbing Kadaj's head, he turned it to face Cloud, who was closing in fast on his motorbike. "This is our chance. This could be the day we kill him!"  
"WHAT?" Kadaj's eyes snapped fully open. "Why didn't you tell me he was coming before?" he asked, a sadistic, old Kadaj grin seeping onto his face. Grabbing a large sword from the bracket in the back of the truck, the newly eager Remnant shot out, landing in a perfect battle stance to face his oncoming foe. About ten metres away, Cloud pulled over his bike and opened the weapons rack. Selecting the largest sword at his disposal, the blond stepped forward and calmly locked eyes with Kadaj. Suddenly, the two charged, clashing in a flurry of sparking steel. They were evenly matched at first, until Cloud managed the first blow. A raging pain flew down Kadaj's arm. Wincing, he swung wildly at his opponent. As the throbbing numbed, it began to remind him of the pleasurable pain of his "gifts". Smiling, Kadaj allowed himself to fall back into his longing, while barely avoiding Cloud's slashing blade. Another blinding pain ran across his leg, then another across his face, then another.

Cloud was confused. It was rare for someone to smile longingly into space as blades slashed their flesh. True, the Remnant was shivering slightly at the feel of the warm, viscous liquid running down his skin, but his mind was far away where he could never hope to fight back.

Yazoo and Loz stared stunned at their brother from the truck. All their suspicions had been confirmed: Kadaj no longer cared. Anger rose in the short haired Remnant. Slamming on the gas of the truck, Loz drove at the fighting pair on the ground.  
"Don't cry Loz." Yazoo sneered, tossing back the long hair out of his face. "If Kadaj won't help, we shall find mother on our own." Loz growled.

Back in the fray, Cloud continued to hack at Kadaj whose deep red blood stood out sickeningly against his silver clothes. Noticing the other Remnants coming up fast before him, the blond knocked his opponent on the skull with the blunt side of his sword. As Kadaj fell, Yazoo fired rapidly at Cloud who fled to his motorbike and drove at full speed towards the city.

Yazoo reached out of the truck, grabbing his brother roughly around the waist.  
"Come Kadaj." He growled, "It's time to go home."


	3. The Quarrel, The Loss

Kadaj lie in bed that night waiting. He needed his gift, especially now to take his mind off the pain. His brothers had attempted to heal his wounds but without a good doctor, all they could do was staunch the bleeding. The Remnant appeared like a half-mummy with a heat pad on his head for the ache. Soon, a painful but familiar tingle shot through his broken body. Sephiroth had come at last! A soft wave of pleasure washed over him, but oddly, no contrasting pain.  
"My dear Kadaj, you're hurt." Sephiroth whispered. Anyone else would have taken this as simply a statement, yet Kadaj heard every word dripping with genuine concern. "I simply cannot give you your gift tonight. It might reverse the healing process. We will have to wait until you are well, my dear Remnant."  
Instantly, as if a door had been shut, the invigorating tingle died. Kadaj stared at the ceiling, at first unable to comprehend the moment's events.  
_Why? _He thought, _Why Sephiroth? Come back. I need you! _Kadaj clenched and unclenched his fists, trying not to cry. He did not understand. He needed Sephiroth. Why would he forsake the Remnant in his hour of need? Needless to say, Kadaj did not sleep that night.

The next morning, Yazoo and Loz found their brother in the same position, his eyes red with exhaustion. Yazoo stepped forward and kneeled at Kadaj's bedside. Sensing the other presence, the Remnant turned his head.  
"Why? Why?" he whispered, his voice hoarse. Yazoo guessed he had been posing this same question to himself for hours.  
"What do you mean Kadaj? Why what?" the long haired Remnant asked, trying to sound as gentle as possible.  
"Why Sephiroth, why?" Yazoo was taken aback. _Sephiroth? What does Sephiroth have to do with any of this?  
_"Sephiroth is gone Kadaj. He isn't coming back." he said kindly.  
"Come back. Come back." Kadaj whimpered. Yazoo growled, his contained frustration from the past few weeks beginning to seep forth, while still attempting to remain calm.  
"Sephiroth is gone Kadaj."  
"Why Sephiroth?" Kadaj whispered again.  
"SEPHIROTH IS DEAD!" Yazoo screeched. He could not take this any longer. Shooting up from his crouch, he stormed to the door to shove past Loz and out of the room. Unsure, for he had never seen him behave this way before, Loz followed his brother.  
"Why? Why Sephiorth, why?" Kadaj whimpered.

On this went for many days. The other Remnants would only come to his room to bring him food and water and change the bandages. Soon Kadaj was healed, covered with scars but physically whole. Finally it came, the day Kadaj had been waiting for anxiously. In the time that had past, he had prepared exactly what he would say.  
"My dear Remnant, you are well again." Sephiroth whispered as he entered Kadaj's consciousness. "I promise I will make up for lost time." Kadaj felt a sudden, electrifying shock course through his body. His limbs had become numb from stagnation and the jolt sent his skin afire.  
"Sephiroth" he moaned, feeling whole once again. "Why did you abandon me? Why?" A soft sigh sounded in his mind.  
"My dear Kadaj, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that my leaving would cause you so much pain. I only did it to protect you, to not hurt you." Kadaj smiled. Sephiroth truly cared for him! "You desire me, don't you Kadaj?" Sephiroth asked. Kadaj shivered. Of course he did. He could not live without his gift. The past few days had proved this.  
"Yes," the Remnant moaned, "with all my heart." He guessed that Sephiroth was smiling from the warm wave that swept through his body.  
"I decided to wait to tell you this until I was sure. If you truly want me with you physically, it can happen." Kadaj gasped. That was perfect! He would not have to wait for just the nights. He could be with Sephiroth anytime he wanted, be able to see him, touch him and maybe give him "gifts" in return. He would show Yazoo and Loz that they had been wrong. They would see Sephiroth with their own eyes.  
"All you must do, my dear Kadaj, is imagine us together." Sephiroth whispered, "Picture my physical body and desire my presence. If your resolve is strong enough, it will create a path I shall use to cross back into this world." To help him along, Sephiroth sent a soft swell of invigorating pleasure through the Remnant's body.

It was quite easy really. Kadaj simply remembered all of his gifts, and the need to have them forever. Gradually, he began to see flashes of turquoise light behind his eyes. Deciding to ignore it, he continued to concentrate on Sephiroth.  
"Yes, my dear Remnant. It is working, I can feel it." Sephiroth purred. Kadaj smiled. It seemed as if his entire being was in his mind, willing Sephiroth into existence. Truly, he was all in his mind, for he began to lose felling in his hands and feet. Then his arms and legs. He could barely feel his gift anymore, but he gave it no thought. All that he focused on, all that really mattered now, was Sephiroth. Concentration of such a degree put the Remnant into almost a trance. In this state, he never even noticed losing feeling in his torso, then his neck. A moment before he went under, he could have sworn he heard Sephiroth murmur _Thank you._

Sephiroth sat up slowly from Kadaj's bed. With pride, he examined his new hands, flexing them, thinking how nice it would be to wield Masamune once again. If the other Remnants proved willing, he would use them. If not, well, they would not get in his way.  
_Yes, _he thought, _my dear, foolish, Kadaj. Thank you._


End file.
